Song "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" is actually about syphilis.

Song "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" is actually about syphilis.

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer; they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!

I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!