When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.

I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.

When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.

I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it because you needed it.

I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.