I always believed you could fix whatever problems.

You know, women are acting the way they want to act now. Years ago they would hide it in the way they dressed, the way they speak, even the way they act in bed. Today, they're doing the same thing, but they're dressing the way they want to be treated and, when you're with them, acting the way they want to act. And you know, honesty is the best policy. I love that.

The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

I'm an animal. I'm an animal in real-life and an animal onstage. I never became a recluse, I never lived up in the Hills where I didn't see real life. You know what I mean? I'm not still living in Brooklyn, but I'm still living in the street. I go out by myself, I don't go out with a million body guards, I run my own errands.

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.