You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, “I hate the rich.” From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by my tits from your ceiling and bite my ass. You know what I mean? That's what it says to me anyway.

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.