I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.

I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.