Anybody can go onstage and be dirty. You have to be funny, that's the key. You can say anything as long as it's funny. You can't take it too seriously up there. And people coming to see you can't take it too seriously.

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.

There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?