Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

I have no problem today letting people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that make people the assholes they are. They have no choice but to be part of it.

Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh - that's what gets me hyped up. It's a nervous excitement.