Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, "Know how much money you'll make?" And then it would just fail.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

I always believed you could fix whatever problems.

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.