I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.

I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world.

I make people laugh hard; I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, "I'll be dirty and they'll laugh." Nobody's becoming a superstar that way.

I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.