I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

You know, women are acting the way they want to act now. Years ago they would hide it in the way they dressed, the way they speak, even the way they act in bed. Today, they're doing the same thing, but they're dressing the way they want to be treated and, when you're with them, acting the way they want to act. And you know, honesty is the best policy. I love that.

I always believed you could fix whatever problems.

I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.