I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen's show and were disappointed. That didn't seem very organized! That guy's all over the map!

My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.

I'm Jewish... We're a very nervous group. Paranoid. Anxiety-ridden. Maybe that Hitler thing made us a little jumpy. Nothing like a Holocaust to make you mind your Ps and Qs for a couple hundred years I always say.

Whenever I watch the beginning of Jimmy Fallon, I feel like I should sue the Roots for bait and switch.

There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.

I don't like any nastiness on tv unless it's coming from me.

George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.