Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.

If I don't believe in Jesus, maybe I don't believe in Hell. Did you ever think of that? You're so excited about it, why don't you go to Hell? It's your concept; you invented it.

I was recently voted best standup never to win a major.

My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.

Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.

I was in Philadelphia - a very angry town, Philadelphia. I've never seen a town like this. It's supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love - like when my brother was 12 and I was nine, and he would lean on my shoulder and dangle spit in my face.

I'm sorry and ashamed to report that I'm not actually a Jew. I was pretending to be a Jew to minimize the holocaust.