Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.

My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.

Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped.

Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

Jewish people, we don't need the money. We're doctors and lawyers. It's the Christians who can't hold a steady job and have to go on TV and ask for money.

Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French for a while now, but he's talking about doing his act in German. Haven't the German people suffered enough?

Maybe Bill Maher should just practice his monologue a few times before the show, so he wouldn't find it so hilarious. But I kid the asshole.