Some people are born with a brain that has this weird, magical mathematical thing that makes them an amazing jazz musician.

I remember Ozzy Osbourne making a fuss on The Osbournes - people were making a big deal about him taking the garbage out, and he said, "Well, who else is going to do it?" The garbage is full, and you're standing right there. You're still a human being who is going to make yourself a sandwich.

There are naked people in boots on a mountain top firing guns.

Outside from with my older brother - and this would have stopped about age 12 - I haven't been in a physical fight in my life. We used to punch each other, but that was little kid punching. You're too scared to hit anybody really.

I'm not that professional.

Well, I refer to Celebrity Jeopardy as the short-bus Jeopardy, because it is a lot easier. Like, there was a whole column basically naming stores in New York.

I never just sit down and see what's on TV anymore. And also, I hate almost everything, so that keeps you reading magazines and doing crossword puzzles or whatever.