It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.

With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.

I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd find a safer way to make a living.

If someone from Germany or somewhere, who had no idea what baseball was, saw Kruk play, he'd wonder what the beer truck driver was doing playing first base.

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

The game is full of peaks and valleys, the key is to avoid the Grand Canyon.