My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing helium kangaroo shorts.

With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.

If someone from Germany or somewhere, who had no idea what baseball was, saw Kruk play, he'd wonder what the beer truck driver was doing playing first base.

I don't care what you do - baseball or politics - George W. Bush is always going to be compared to his father. I just want it to be an easy answer in 50 years - Who was the better player, me, or my kids? I want it to be my kids.

I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.

Who says there's an unemployment problem in this country? Just take the five percent unemployed and give them a baseball stat to follow.