Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.

Everybody does the same thing over and over again. I like to do the same thing every day.

Rodeo Drive is a giant butterscotch sundae.

I’m really afraid to feel happy because it never lasts

Even beauties can be unattractive. If you catch a beauty in the wrong light at the right time, forget it. I believe in low lights and trick mirrors. I believe in plastic surgery.

I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'

Day after day I look in the mirror and I still see something