Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.

I used to have the same lunch every day, for 20 years, I guess, the same thing over and over again.

I don't want to be smart, because being smart makes you depressed.

I just [take pictures] because the camera is something to carry around in my pocket.

The interviewer should just tell me the words he wants me to say and I’ll repeat them after him. I think that would be so great because I’m so empty I just can’t think of anything to say.

Two people kissing always look like fish.

I'm starting to think that the men are the ones who should wear the big jewelry because they can defend it better when it's robbed. They should wear the big diamonds. You can show how much of a man you are, because the bigger the diamond, the stronger you have to be to defend it.