There are some honorable politicians; and God bless them, there aren't many of them - but they're narcissistic. They need people to love them.

If we're so cruel to minorities, why do they keep coming here? Why aren't they sneaking across the Mexican border to make their way to the Taliban?

Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend.

The only subject fewer authentic Americans cared about than the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo was World Cup Soccer. America is an epic global battle with ruthless savages who seek our destruction, and liberals are feeling sorry for the terrorists.

Unfortunately, proof of a Jefferson-Hemings liaison was as fanciful as Professor Ellis' war service.

[Alan] Dershowitz has also offered to defend Osama bin Laden in court, saying it would be an act of high patriotism. It's kind of too bad there isn't going to be a trial. Having Dershowitz defend him could be Osama's only shot at not being the least popular person in the courtroom.

As the leader of twelve apostles, even Jesus had more executive experience than Obama.