The fundamental difference is that conservatives think man is created in God's image. Liberals think they [themselves] are gods - they want to create utopia on Earth with wealth redistribution, breaking the bonds of marriage and ties between parents and a child.

Liberals hate religion because politics is a religion substitute for liberals and they can't stand the competition.

The key to the U.N.'s global warming study was man's use of aerosol spray. You have to know the French were involved in a study concluding that Arrid Extra Dry is destroying the Earth. In a world in which everyone smelled, the French would be at no disadvantage. Aerosol spray. How convenient.

With the terrible earthquake and resulting tsunami that have devastated Japan, the only good news is that anyone exposed to excess radiation from the nuclear power plants is now probably much less likely to get cancer.

Scott Brown's victory in Massachusetts has got to have Ted Kennedy rolling over in his grave, spilling his drink.

I think [women] should be armed but should not vote ... women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it ... it's always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care.

Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties - provided we're only talking about criminals.