Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

In the druidical religion of liberalism, not separating your recyclables is a sin, but abortion is just a medical procedure.

Not all Muslims may be terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims.

[Liberals] are always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. ... Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment.

When you try to figure out what the religious right is, it ultimately comes down either to one man, Pat Robertson, or anyone who believes in a higher being and wants their taxes cut.

Our gays are more macho than their straights.

We don't want someone who will get 98 percent of the vote. We want someone who will get 51 percent of the vote.