Instead of seeking wisdom, liberals desire to be seen as clever by being counterintuitive, crazy, and outre.

Liberals don't care. Their approach is to rip out society's foundations without asking if they serve any purpose. Why do we have immigration laws? What's with these borders? Why do we have the institution of marriage, anyway? What do we need standardized tests for? Hey, I like Keith Richards - why not make heroin legal? Let's take a sledgehammer to all these load-bearing walls and just see what happens!

Don't make the mistake, America, of voting for Barack Obama who, by the way, does not come out of the American black experience and everything white Americans feel guilty about. He's a Hawaiian born in 1961.

Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.

Liberals love to strike generous, humanitarian poses with other people's lives.

The only question I'd be interested in is what books other celebrities have read recently, which is part of my campaign to promote reading.

The only beef Enron employees have with top management is that management did not inform employees of the collapse in time to allow them to get in on the swindle. If Enron executives had shouted, "Head for the hills!" the employees might have had time to sucker other Americans into buying wildly over-inflated Enron stock. Just because your boss is a criminal doesn't make you a hero.