I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.

To promote the sales of GM vehicles, Obama says the government will stand by your GM car warranty. And all the taxpayers will get a lube job.

For decades now, [Fuller] Torrey has been warning America what would happen if the dangerously mentally ill were deinstitutionalized, and it's all come true. Today, the only place we can put mental patients is on MSNBC.

If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country.

Why don't Republicans spend all their airtime attacking the media for lying about what Obama's amnesty does and what the Democrats are doing? It's hard to avoid concluding that Republicans aren't trying to make the right arguments. In fact, it kind of looks like they're intentionally throwing the fight on amnesty. If a Republican majority in both houses of Congress can't stop Obama from issuing illegal immigrants Social Security cards and years of back welfare payments, there is no reason to vote Republican ever again.

Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe. Always do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever [Jimmy] Carter says, as quickly as possible.

Liberals are more upset when a tree is chopped down than when a child is aborted.