Right before The Civil War, only 8% of white people owned slaves. Some plantations would have hundreds and hundreds of slaves, but the vast majority of whites didn't have any.

That is Obama's signature move: Invent people who are saying ridiculous things and then encourage the audience to laugh at these made-up buffoons.

Let's say I go out every night, I meet a guy and have sex with him. Good for me. I'm not married.

Democrats are not angry about 9/11. Sad, maybe - sad that it didn't happen on Clinton's watch so his legacy would be more than a semen stain. But they're not angry.

A word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can.

I'm more of a man than any liberal.

How about a new game show called 'Battle Begala?' Contestants would pick any obscure bad thing that happened anywhere in the world, and Paul would have 10 seconds to explain why it is President Bush's fault.