Love is content with the present, it hopes for the future and it doesn't brood over the past.

Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don't sample the goodies unless you're willing to risk addiction and withdrawal.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Women's magazines continue to print 'helpful' articles on How to Hang on to Your Husband while thousands of wives write to me and complain that 'hanging is too good for 'em.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.