Some things get better with age, but after a certain point, the mind isn't among them.

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Parents do not owe their progeny an inheritance no matter how much money they have. One of the surest ways to produce loafers and freeloaders is to let children know that their future is assured.

You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.

Make somebody happy today, and mind your own business