The best way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.

A cigarette is a roll of paper, tobacco, and drugs, with a small fire on one end and a large fool at the other. Some of its chief benefits are cancer of the lips and stomach, softening of the brain, funeral procesions, and families shrouded in gloom and grief. Although a great many people know this, they still smoke in order to appear sophisticated.

TV has had a stronger impact on our society than any single invention since the automobile. It has put the dead hand on conversation.

Most of us would be willing to pay as we go if we could just finish paying for where we've been.

Keep skid chains on your tongue. Say less than you think. Cultivate a pleasant voice. How you say it is often more important than what you say.

Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.

When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate.