Marrying into money was not a good thing for me.

I did Playboy. There was an ad in the paper for playmates. Playboy called me and flew me to Los Angeles, and I was on the March cover of 1992.

Nobody has ever respected me and done things for me and loved me. So when Howard (former husband J. Howard Marshall II) came along, it was a blessing. He is the only person in my life who does not care about what other people say about me. He truly loves me and I love him for it.

I just know I'm going to be an actress. I want it so bad.

For some reason, people think I am this terrible person and it really hurts me to hear that. I am just doing the best I know how to.

He's comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!... Please God let him love me!!... This could be it [followed by five happy faces].... Hes going to publish my pictures Im so glad I didn't sleep with him either!... I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway. (1992, diary entry as she prepares for a meeting with Paul Marciano, head of Guess.)

I can't eat more than six hundred dollars worth of food.