Again and again I tell God I need help, and God says, 'Well, isn't that fabulous? Because I need help too. So you go get that old woman over there some water, and I'll figure out what we're going to do about your stuff.

...since you can't heal your own sick mind with your own sick mind, I needed to consult somebody else's sick mind.

I like the desert for short periods of time, from inside a car, with the windows rolled up, and the doors locked. I prefer beach resorts with room service.

Your unconscious can't work when you are breathing down its neck.

Presents can make up for some of the disappointments that life doles out, such as it makes almost no sense and is coming to an end more quickly than ever.

E-books are great for instant gratification - you see a review somewhere of a book that interests you, and you can start reading it five minutes later.

You don't always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too.