America's most dangerous export was, is and always will be our fast-food outlets.

In my house, neither my wife nor my daughter are impressed that I'm on television, and they remind me of that frequently.

Without Montreal, Canada would be hopeless.

That without experimentation, a willingness to ask questions and try new things, we shall surely become static, repetitive, moribund.

I don't snack. I don't generally eat sweets or drink soda. I never eat between meals or even before big ones.

If you've ever hauled a 28-pound two-year-old around New York, you'll find that men fold at the knees a lot quicker than women.

I couldn't imagine a more unreliable, more unprofitable way to make a living than writing. My advice? Show up, do the best you can. Keep your day job. If you get a lucky break, don't f*** up. It was helpful to be older because I had made all the really stupid mistakes already.