The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.

I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.

Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith!

We wish genius and morality where affectionate companions, but it is a fact that they are often bitter enemies. They don't necessarily coalesce any more than oil and water do.

It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.

One of the principal features of my entertainment is that it contains so many things that don't have anything to do with it.

I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.