The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
Augusten BurroughsAnd I hope she does not live in a dark world. Because even the most terrible loss doesn't have to make you darker; it can make you deeper.
Augusten BurroughsI did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.
Augusten BurroughsI've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father.
Augusten BurroughsWhat I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee from the same mug. I don't want some rusty '73 Ford Pinto with a factory-defective gas tank that causes it to explode when it's rear-ended in the parking lot of the supermarket. So why do I keep looking for Pintos?
Augusten Burroughs