I've never done online dating.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.

Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.

Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.

Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing with Nick Cannon. Which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer, or something, which I think was Shakespeare.