The one thing you can rely on is if you get disturbed halfway through a painting and it looks a bit naff, then someone will preserve that piece, remove it and a few months later it'll be paraded round Sotheby's by people wearing white gloves.

Some people represent authority without ever possessing any of their own.

I don't know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower.

Remember crime against property is not real crime. People look at an oil painting and admire the use of brushstrokes to convey meaning. People look at a graffiti painting and admire the use of a drainpipe to gain access.

Bus stops are far more interesting and useful places to have art than in museums.

Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can't even finish my second apple pie.

Speak softly, but carry a big can of paint.