Sometimes grown ups don't act their right old age

Even though sometimes you can control your anger, you can't control your sadness.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

The upside to grief is it takes away your appetite. When people say you look good they really mean it. Nature's thoughtful that way.

Can't we be friends?' I hate your guts, Frankovitch' Can't our guts be friends?

I was a good kid, but I was just very chatty. Teachers were rarely entertained, but occasionally a child was, which was enough for me. Everything was so urgent. I needed to say it immediately.

Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except, I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.