How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?

Alone. The saddest word in the world.

My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.

They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!

Lying - remembering beauty in truth.

Why is life so difficult? Why can't we be just ourselves and have everyone accept us the way we are?

I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.