My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.

This morning when I left Mom's parting words were, "Come straight home after school." Wow! Like I'm going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn't sound so bad at that.

Alone. The saddest word in the world.

Maybe the new me will be different.

one day I'll be old, without ever having really been young

I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.

They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!