How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren't even physical?

How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren't even physical?

Maybe the new me will be different.

one day I'll be old, without ever having really been young

I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.

I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs--which shows how screwed up this world really is!

I'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I've gotten from books.