I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.

I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.

The complete bottom has fallen out of my life.

My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.

I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.

They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.

I'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I've gotten from books.