Lying - remembering beauty in truth.
How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.
Maybe the new me will be different.
I pretend I've got lots of confidence and I'm a big jock and like that but deep inside I'm a frightened, insecure, can't-make-it failure.