This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there's someone else to do the housework.

This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there's someone else to do the housework.

I gave the prescribed Metropolitan Police "first greeting". "Oi!" I said "What do you think you're doing?

That which does not kill us has to get up extra early in the morning if it wants to get us next time.

On the plus side, there were no rioters in sight but on the minus side this was probably because everywhere I looked was on fire.

Being a seasoned Londoner, Martin gave the body the "London once-over" - a quick glance to determine whether this was a drunk, a crazy or a human being in distress. The fact that it was entirely possible for someone to be all three simultaneously is why good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like BASE jumping or crocodile wrestling.

Questions would be asked. Answers would be ignored.