Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.

The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.

You're mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund

Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.

The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.

You didn't wake up, your dreams just changed gear.

If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write.