Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.

An oboe is an ill-wind that nobody blows good.

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

I think it's become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I've heard many people, boast, "I would never have a television set in my house," well, these people are fools.

They tell about a fifteen-year-old boy in an orphans' home who had an incurable stutter. One Sunday the minister was detained and the boy volunteered to say the prayer in his stead. He did it perfectly, too, without a single stutter. Later he explained, "I don't stutter when I talk to God. He loves me."