The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.

I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.

I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.

America...Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch...My James Brown.

I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.