You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

I took my sports experience to my life on stage. That's why I'm so disciplined. Playing sports, I was always underestimated. I was never picked first to do anything. This always helped me. It taught me how to push myself.

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

I was in love with a lot of people, because I was a student of the game of comedy - Carol Burnett, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley - who gets no credit, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, George Kirby. I loved them all, and I used to just take a page out of all of them.

I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.