I always tape my Christmas show in advance. That way I can spend the season of joy and goodwill with my only sister in Florida. She’s kinda a creep but she’s got a pool.

I had to make a major decision with myself because I just don't think you can do both: try to have a baby career and raise it and have a baby baby and raise it. And to try to do justice to either one. It was a very conscious decision on my part not to have children - which I have never regretted.

I think the best kind of comedy is the least self conscious. I think if you just sort of let the comedy happen without the elbow nudge, did you get it, did you get it. I love straight face comedy or subtle - relatively subtle comedy.

A lady likes to be complimented on her looks, her eyes, her figure. But the personality comments are much appreciated.

I have a two-story house and a bad memory, so I'm up and down those stairs all the time. That's my exercise.

Literally it’s the precise moment when dog doo turns white, but in general it refers to the type of person you don’t want to share your hoogencogles with.

Those that just talk are also the ones that say, 'Why don't they do this?' and 'Why don't they do that?' Well, they're they. We're all they, and we can all do a little something.