Of course, nobody's tearing my door down. If you're successful you're going to intimidate and scare off the people you'd like to spend time with. They're not going to approach you. And the ones who do are often there because you are a celebrity.

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

During the Depression, my dad made radios to sell to make extra money. Nobody had any money to buy the radios, so he would trade them for dogs. He built kennels in the backyard, and he cared for the dogs.

People who don't like cats haven't been around them. There's the old joke: dogs have masters, cats have staff.

When you start explaining why something's funny or finding a formula for it I think it loses some of its funniness.

Hot dogs and Red Vines and potato chips and French fries are my favorite foods.

I really don't care with whom you sleep. I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.