I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

Any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!"

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?

Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.

I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.

There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.