When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It's always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be funny, I have a good time.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, "Jesus, I'm bombing." The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.

[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.