I don't feel like it's a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for the candidates that aren't bought and paid for like the Clintons.

It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think in the old days with the studio system the performer was a bit of an afterthought. You can be a wildcard on the internet. But if you put something on the internet once it's out there it's out there for life.

My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.

When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It's always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you know?

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.