I am so pro-swine flu... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak.

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.

I mean, stand up you're by yourself and it's live and when you're acting, unless you're doing a monologue, you're interacting with somebody else. Even if you're doing a monologue you're saying it to somebody and it's not live so you can do it a few times.

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.

People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is "looking for". Just say what you think is funny. .