I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland - some of the funniest heckles I've ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.

[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes "no you didn't feature, you co-hosted". He literally invented a term so he didn't have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.