What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?

I never wanted to spend a month away from my life. One time I was out on the road for three weeks in a row and I when I came back someone had broken into my apartment and the water had evaporated from the toilet.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

Deny your emotions and act like you have answers